I'm thinking...

There's a reason my favorite hour of the day is those hours just before I fall asleep. Those are my thinking hours. My hours of quiet. My hours to lie on my back and think of nothing or everything at once. Sometimes I find myself just staring off into the dark for hours at a time, thinking serious thoughts. Not serious in the unpleasant sense, on the contrary they are quite peaceful thoughts. They are serious in the contemplative sense. I like to think about people. How we all relate to each other. How our lives intersect in this complex pattern; like threads weaving together in a rug. I know that's a metaphor that's probably been used a lot, but it's interesting to think about isn't it? All those threads twisting together, all those lives that we affect and that affect us. Most of the time we look at the world from a rather self centered perspective. Even if we are considering someone else's feelings it is always from our own point of view. It's inevitable. We all approach things with different backgrounds, with different thoughts to build upon, there is no way to be completely unbiased. I just find it interesting to think about how all the other people in my life are feeling or acting when I'm not around them. Recently my brother said something about how someone acted more maturely around me. I remember that exact thought used to bother me about a year ago. I would wonder if people were merely mirroring what I was trying to be. I guess I was worried that I was seeing what I wanted to see rather than who people really were. Last night I was thinking about it again and I realized that it wasn't such a bad thing after all. I hope I have that affect on people. I hope that by being kind and thoughtful people will see something they want to be too. If they see me as mature, it will be something they will want to imitate. I want to be a positive influence. How people act around us is not so much "seeing a false side" as seeing the affect of our words and actions. It really makes you think about the impact of our presence. How do we make others feel? All interactions are about some give and take. Careless words uttered, negatively received, responded to in like, ending emotion unhappiness. Or it could be the other way completely. It's really interesting to think about. There's just so much to think about. Human relations. Human interactions. How our presence affects people. Or vise versa.

I'm creating...

I think perhaps this prompt would be better suited for today it were instead "something I'm working on." Because if it were that I would respond that I'm addressing my graduation announcements. It really isn't very creative, but it is the project I am currently working on. So that it was I'm putting down.

I'm wearing...

A dress with grey and black stripes, boots and my necklace with the Pride and Prejudice quote.

I'm reading...

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. Apparently it is a "classic of my generation" so I must read it. So I am. Also my brothers are very excited about my reading it.

Outside my window...

The clouds are really pretty today. I like watching them drift, it's really relaxing. They move so slowly, as if they knew the wind was propelling them ever forwards, but intended to take their time and enjoy the trip.

I'm listening to...

The washing machine whirl on it's last run. Or at least until that cycle is done and the next must be loaded.

One of my favorite things...

The feeling I had last night. My family all together. The little ones sleeping upstairs. My Mom and Dad sitting on one side of me. My brothers Marcus and Eli sitting on the other side. Warm and comfortable, curled up in a blanket. It was one of the best feelings in all the world.

I'm thinking...

Well, I've been talking quite a bit about Much Ado About Nothing the past couple weeks- but it's been a prominent part of my life so there seems no way around talking about it. (Of course, I like talking about it. So there is that) I was thinking though, how much better I understand the play after watching it over and over again. I had seen the movie adaption, but even so I think I only caught the most obvious lines. I think most Shakespeare plays are like that. You have to watch them several times over before you begin to catch on to all the lines. Well, I suppose most things are like that. The more times you watch or read something the more you get out of it.
I'm really proud of everyone who is taking part in our play. I think they've all done excellent jobs bringing out the characters. That's something else I find funny about plays, so much of it is about the personal interpretation. I find it so interesting to see how different people interpret the characters. Also, I find it really interesting how people act. It's something I didn't think too much about before starting this play, but there's so many different ways to act. Some people become the character. You can see them become the character, and then the minute the scene is over they go back to being themselves. Other people make the character like themselves. They never stop being like themselves, but simply use their characters words and actions as their own. 

I'm reading...

Arabella by Georgette Heyer. I always feel like reading books over again after I lend them to someone. I love recommending and lending books. I think it's one of the best things in the world. That's another reason why I want to be well read in all sorts of books. So if ever someone came up and asked, "do you know a funny non fiction book?" I would say "Try A.J. Jacobs' books." or "What would you recommend from the YA section?" "Cinder, Entwined, The Fairytale Novels,  The Fault in Our Stars, Paper Towns..." or "What mysteries do you like?" "Agatha Christie, Father Brown, Sherlock Holmes, but mostly Agatha Christie." (obviously I really want to be a Librarian)

Outside my window...

It's a cloudy day.

I'm wearing...

Jeans and a blouse. Also my TARDIS necklace.

I'm listening to...

A Michael Buble song just came on Pandora.

From the Kitchen...

I haven't made bread in a while. I should start doing that again. I love making bread.

I'm creating...

I was looking through some of my old stories again last night. It's funny looking back at things you wrote a long time ago, some things you find simply terrible, and then other things you're surprised with and like. Reading over my old things always makes me want to rewrite them.

Happy Birthday!

I would like to take a moment to say Happy Birthday to my dear friend Kieran. This is a birthday post for her. So Kieran, if you're reading this, Happy Birthday to you.

You're such a dear, sweet, lovely person, and I'm so thankful for you. I'm thankful for all of those memories from when we were little girls. I'm thankful for tea parties, dress-up, and prancing about the house. Do you remember composing poetry on the way up to the tulip fields? I think I might still have a couple sheets of paper that we were rhyming on. Then there was WYD. We had such different experiences; when we talk about memories there are so many different things we remember, and yet we intersected in and out of each other's memories. You were always there. That's what my hope is for our college years and beyond. It makes me so happy to know that while we're going to different places, the places we've chosen are very similar. The adventure we're starting out on is essentially the same. Our experiences throughout college are going to be very different, but our lives will still be intersecting. I hope you know I'll always be there. I'm so excited for you.

It's strange to think that we're both eighteen now. Just a couple more weeks and we'll both be graduating. Our last year of High School, and homeschool will be done. You've been my friend since before I can remember, and you will always be one of my very dearest, dearest friends.

Happy Birthday!

Howl's Moving Castle

By Diana Wynne Jones

5/5

(By the by the above cover is not the cover of the copy I read. That cover was an atrocity. I refuse to have such an eyesore on my blog. Thus my reasoning in finding a picture of another copy's cover.)

I can't believe I haven't read this book before now! I knew from the very first page it was just the sort of book I would fall in love with. I love twists on fairytales.

"...It is quite a misfortune to be born the eldest of three. Everyone knows you are the one who will fail first, and worst, if the three of you set out to seek your fortunes. Sophie Hatter was the eldest of three sisters. She was not even the child of a poor woodcutter, which might have given her some chance of success."

See what I mean? As soon as I had read that paragraph I knew that this was a book that would find a place in my heart. I grinned manically at the page muttering in Captain America form "I understood that reference." This book was referencing my childhood. My childhood of fairytales. This was a good book. I knew this already- and I was only on the first page.

The rest of the book did not disappoint. Howl was hilarious. I was actually giggling out loud. There's something so endearing about Howl, even when he's sulking like a child. Actually, perhaps that's what I found the funniest. Sophie waggling her finger and nosing around the castle, and Howl putting up a fuss and telling her to stop cleaning everything she touched. The way he's described sulking and then suddenly flashing a smile at her and prancing off! Goodness gracious.

Actually, I loved all the characters. Michael is such a sweetheart and Calcifer is interesting to say the least, dear Sophie, and of course Howl.

There was only one chapter that I felt was a little bit drawn out, but other than that it was entirely and utterly enjoyable. It reminded me of Patricia C. Wrede and I do, do love her books. I have the other two books in the Howl's Moving Castle series on my nightstand (at least I think it's a series? Perhaps they're only connected in some form rather than being a series.) Anyhow, I'm very excited to read them both. I think there's also an animated film of some sort? I haven't seen it, but I know several people who have and like it a lot. I'll have to find it.

If you haven't read Howl's Moving Castle you really should find it. (Try to find the copy without the atrocious cover. As I said, monstrosity.) It's funny, has enough fairytale in it to warm your heart, and is just all round adorable. That is all.

Matched

By Ally Condie

4/5

 

I think this is the first book I've read where I've found myself appreciating first person present tense. I was reading book reviews about Matched before I picked it up myself and I kept hearing the same things "beautiful writing" "like poetry" (paraphrasing) so that was something I was paying close attention to from the very beginning, and I would have to say I agree. I still dislike first person present tense as a writing style for the majority of the time but I think in this instance it worked. Especially when we look at the plot it went along with. It somehow fit the storyline and made the whole thing flow. It did remind me of poetry, very drifting and musical, feeding you the characters emotions through words that dwelled on the way the silky green dress felt and the way the lingering dirt on a rock looked. Most YA fiction is very plot driven so the writing style to this book made me happy. Not that I have anything against plot driven books, but it's refreshing to see books like this making an appearance.

 

( I guess part of the reason that I've been reading more YA fiction these days is because I'm a writer. I want to publish my own books someday. It feels a bit one sided, if that makes sense, to be dreaming of publishing my stories and hoping to have them read, when I have hardly read any of current titles. It's also been really interesting, and I've found quite a few of them that I've enjoyed. Plus, it's fun to review YA. There's always plenty to talk about. You have things that you really enjoyed and things that you really disliked. It's no fun to talk about a book that you found nothing to dislike in. You end up just repeating "I just really loved it. You really ought to read." This got a bit off topic but I was really just going to say that as a writer I really enjoyed the writing style in Matched. Bravo, Ally Condie, and I approve of all the book reviews I've read commenting on the writing.)

 

Can I just say that all dystopian novels that I've read have had the same affect on me? I end up walking away feeling very, very thankful. Sure, there's a lot of problems in our world today, but lets take a moment to count our blessings, shall we? Yes, we still have cancer, but would we want to live in Matched where the government is saying who you should marry to ensure good genes matching with good genes leading to a population of perfectly healthy people and thus eliminating cancer? Sure, there's a problem with over eating and under eating, but just take a moment to feel thankful that you know the taste of deliciously baked food, and that your diet isn't being overseen and restricted to the perfect amount of calories. Sure, there are rotten books and music out there, but gosh am I thankful there are if it means that we have an equal amount of GOOD books and GOOD music being created. Would we want to live in a world with just one hundred books and one hundred songs and no creating of anything new? I say long live that rotten paperback being sold at the grocery store if that means a book as good as that one is bad is being written at the same time!

 

Also, I think Matched presents a very good example of what happens when we lose our value for human life. In this story the government sets a year that you get to live to (I think it's eighty) and you get to live till that birthday- and then they kill you. They say it's eliminating all the horrors of old age, sickness and dementia etc. YOU SEE WHERE I'M GOING? It's a very slippery slope, people. First we convince ourselves that abortion is okay, suddenly we're saying it's okay to say "hey, you've reached your eightieth birthday, that's it. Done. Over." Where's the line? /Pro-Life speech for the day.

 

I will say I found the love triangle a bit annoying. I mean, it was better than most. It actually had a point to it, which most love triangles don't, but why are you playing with my emotions like that, book? I don't need this right now. I always, always end up feeling sorry for the poor little third corner of the triangle even if I originally liked the second corner better. Pet peeve = love triangles.

 

On another note, I would like to mention that there was nothing holding me back from recommending it wholeheartedly. No violence etc. (unique in the dystopian genre...) I wouldn't say it's my favorite book of all time, but it's won honorable mention on my list.

 

 

Devergent

By Veronica Roth

4/5

Oh my goodness, I could not put this book down. I read it in less than twenty-four hours and it's a thick book. (Actually, I have to say it's the perfect size. Nice and plump and yet not so thick that it would smash your face in if you dropped it while holding it over your head. Of course, it might give you a bruise but as long as the danger is not life threatening, allowances must be made for plump books. Besides, it would technically be our fault dropping books on our heads. Obviously I don't trust myself when it comes to anvil like books in close proximity to my head.)

Divergent is a dystopian novel (I've read a couple of these the past couple weeks and Divergent has been my favorite so far. That is, if we're not counting Fahrenheit 451. It's an interesting genre.) In this book society has been split into five different factions, each dedicated to upholding one particular virtue: Selflessness, Intelligence, Courage, Peace, or Honesty. On their sixtieth birthday the children of this society must choose which fraction (and virtue) they wish to dedicate their lives to. They may either choose to stay with their parents in the faction they've grown up in, or choose a different faction and separate themselves entirely from their previous lives. A person who is "divergent" shows equal strength in more than one virtue (basically a normal human being, right?) and thus considered dangerous.

What I found fascinating about this book was the idea of dedicating your life to one virtue. It's really thought provoking. Right at the beginning I found myself wondering alongside Tris which faction I would choose if given the choice. I started comparing the value of each virtue; comparing the lifestyles. Which really proves the point doesn't it? The people of this story weren't being forced into submission by an all powerful government (something you see in dystopian novels) they were choosing this life for themselves. (Of course, if they hadn't chosen something bad would most likely have happened, but that aside, THEY WERE CHOOSING) The problem is that all virtues are tied together; out of selflessness comes courage etc. and when we eliminate the other virtues we have an incomplete virtue. The whole point is off. Instead of valuing intelligence as something to be used for the benefit of others, it is used to gain power and riches. Besides which human beings are by nature complicated, their decisions and the conclusions they come to are created by a massive amount of different factors. When we look at a people focused on one thing and one thing only, we are looking at a very disturbing image.

It's a good example at why extremism is so bad. There needs to be some middle ground, a place where people from both sides can come to a compromise. I was doing some research recently for an essay I had to write on political gridlock, and this reminds me of that. Even if something might be good to begin with, when it is blown out of proportion and taken to extremes it loses the original object.

In the end, I started thinking about how beautiful humanity is. God gave us the ability to feel more than one emotion at a time, to think more than one thought. We were given free will and intellect, the ability to be compassionate as well as honest with one another, courageous as well as selfless. People are complicated, and that's what makes them so beautiful. We have the ability to go above and beyond any calculated expectation.

I probably would have given this book 5/5 except for the amount of violence. Too much. There were a couple bits that would make me hesitate to recommend it to everyone. Also. Can I just take a moment to say how much I dislike first person present tense? Ugh. Why is this writing style so popular right now? Present tense is pretty and poetic when used in small doses. VERY small doses. Please, dear young adult authors, no more first person present tense. I'm begging you. It's not poetic. It's robotic. Thank you.

I'm thinking...

I've often thought how hard it is to write down what you are thinking. It's almost nigh impossible. Thoughts are fickle things, you see. At the present moment I am thinking of half a dozen things, and yet I can only write on one. In the object of order and coherency it is necessary to stick to one train of thought, and yet the thoughts in your mind are in no such order. Thoughts, they flit in and out of your mind with no particular care for coherency. I'm thinking of rain falling on the pond, it looks like spots appearing as if a disease all across the pond's brown surface, or like spots on a Dalmatian. Then my mind goes back to the original thought and dwells on the shape of the raindrops falling. I remember watching a video about how the artists created the rain in Bambi, they filled a dropper with milk and watched slow motion videos of the milk dripping down and splashing into the bowl.
All of a sudden that train of thought is lost in thinking about the play I'm in. I think about how much I enjoy playing two characters in one play. I think about how I can make these characters as different as possible from each other, and how I'm planning on changing my hairstyle at least twice during the course of the play. I'm thinking about how easy it would be to talk too quickly, having each word we utter in the play memorized. Then I'm thinking about conversation. Sometimes I think out how conversations will go beforehand, I think about what I should say and how I should say it. In a sense I'm trying to memorize my conversation beforehand, as if it were simply an act in a play. But life rarely gives you an opportunity to speak that memorized speech, or at least as you planned it. Life is an adventure, not a play to memorize. We might think we know someone, but we will never know for sure what goes through their mind, what words will come out of their mouth. I suppose that's what makes me nervous about my interview for the scholarship on Thursday, I hope I do well, but I won't have a chance to think out my responses. I like to have time to think.
That's why I like writing so much. When you write you can put into words thoughts that you have been turning around in your mind for years and years. In most stories I've written I've found myself writing out thoughts about events from years ago. I always think what I'm writing is fictional, and then I read over it again and I find that I've put bits of myself into every character. Bits of me are scattered throughout the stories, the best of me and the worst of me. I remember talking about this a while back with a good friend, she asked if a part of my story was "real" and I said immediately "Oh no." because I thought it wasn't. It was completely from my imagination that story, I've never been in a situation similar to my heroine, I couldn't think of anyone more dissimilar than myself, but suddenly this heroine was spouting out thoughts I'd had myself. Those thoughts were mine and hers together. It's really interesting to think as you read of the author who has written this story. Writing is about digging into your soul. There is no way to write without sharing bits and pieces of yourself even if that is not your intention. I don't mean copying yourself and your life. No, that's not what I mean at all. I mean writing someone else's story, and then finding yourself in a brief thought or word that flouts through the story.
Now I've completely lost what I was thinking about when I started writing these thoughts on writing. I was going to talk about my interview on Thursday, but we'll leave that for now. It'll turn out as it turns out.

I'm reading...

Right now I'm reading Waking Rose by Regina Doman out loud to my brother. Waking Rose is my favorite of her books. I love that book because there's so many layers to it. Even though I've read it many times I still find something different in it. It's a story mixed with bits of reality and fantasy, with daily life at a Catholic College and with knights and ladies fighting for what is good and right. My favorite characters in it are the Knights of the Sacra Cor. They are funny and sweet, courageous and ready to stand up for what they believe. Then of course, there's Fish and Rose. Fish has always been the character I've loved most in her books, even in the first one. Which is funny because upon reading over them again he really isn't in the first book very much. Only two or three brief scenes, and yet I loved him best even then? Waking Rose is really his story. One of the things I really like about Regina Doman is that she doesn't pass over the after affects. You see characters in plenty of adventure books that have terrible things happen to them, and yet in the very next book they're back to their usual selves, tragic pasts being forgotten in the next adventure. Not so with the Fairy Tale Novels. We see Fish continually struggling with his past. His memories of the past are harder for him to deal with then when the actual event was taking place. When I read this book for the first time I didn't understand all that was going on, but now that I do I love it even more. It deals with some pretty deep topics, but what you're taking from it really depends on the place you are in when you're reading it. I also love Fish and Rose's relationship and how it blossoms. It gives a very real picture of love and what it's about. It isn't sappy love at first sight, nor is it a case of mutual dislike turned upside down (ugh it drives me nuts when this happens). It's shows love as a choice. My favorite bit about this is how Fish doesn't come to care for Rose in that way till he consciously opens up to her. He makes the decision to trust her and that is the beginning of something beautiful. Their relationship is that of a friendship blossomed into something that much closer and more beautiful.

I'm wearing...

A blue dress.

Outside my window...

The canoe has been hoisted half way up the hill and is now resting in the daisies between the pond and my window. Just beyond it a shadow divides the lawn. Dew drops can be seen on each blade of grass in this shadowed area, beyond the great divide the sun has dried all morning dew and the daisies have unfurled themselves. (Now that I have put you to sleep with my description of the outside world I shall proceed. Such a description would only be interesting if I tossed a character or two in there. Perhaps a dark and mysterious figure in the shade and sunny faced pleasant character in the sun. Don't mind me. I'm babbling.)

 I'm creating...

I'm determined to finish the letters I've started writing. I really do need to get them in the mail. I'm a fearful procrastinator sometimes and I've been neglecting my correspondence horrendously. Then I'm wracked with guilt.